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Have you had a season of life where you were thrown into the fire, then felt like you were being hammered on a blacksmith's anvil? 

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I have had many. My family of origin left me contending with abandonment, anger, fear, entitlement, and sexual lust. This toxic identity drove my decision-making and kept me insecure and emotionally immature. Even after salvation, I grappled with toxic thinking and deeply rooted heart issues that kept me in a loop of bad decisions and consequences. I worried about everything, and my pride was easily wounded. Though I was a child of God, I felt like an orphan needing to self-provide, self-protect, and insulate myself from the rejection I knew was coming. 

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The great grace of God sent me down divinely designed pathways - into the fire, out on the anvil, hammered, plunged into the cool water for a rest - then all over again. Each season molded me closer and closer to His original design for my life and helped me progress from a self-centered, surface-level, emotionally immature man to one who was more transparent and responsible and could receive and give love. Once legalistic and judgmental, God molded my character until it reflected the fruit of the Spirit, and I could experience healthy intimacy and know peace. My identity was forged from a needy, spiritual orphan into God's beloved son. 

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If you find yourself repeating toxic patterns or are struggling to find meaning in your challenging seasons, perhaps my journey will bring insight and clarity to you.